The Expendables 2 (2012)

Posted in Reviews by - November 05, 2013
The Expendables 2 (2012)

More geriaction from Stallone’s verbally challenged ensemble of 80s knuckleheads. This time he hands directorial duties over to Simon Con Air West, presumably so he can concentrate more on the script writing. An insane opening sequence sees the mercenaries spring a captive Schwarzenegger from Nepal using firepower, trucks, planes, helicopters, cruise missiles, boats, muscle and might, killing hundreds of people and all before the opening titles. Bruce Willis then appears to explain the story. In a bid to repay his debts, Sly must resurrect his motley crew to retrieve the contents of a safe from a blown out plane somewhere in China. The safe contains blueprints to an abandoned mine in Russia holding a stash of weapons grade plutonium. Van Damme, of all people, turns nasty to act as the film’s villain (his character is called Jean Villain, in case you weren’t sure), who must ultimately face a barrage of bullets from Sly, Willis and Schwarzenegger, plus a neat cameo from Chuck Norris who spontaneously appears to collect a paycheck.

Jet Li clearly wants nothing to do with this so he jumps out of a plane early on. Statham, on the other hand, appears to have become the jobsworth in an unrequited homoerotic bromance with Stallone. The two wear matching flat caps and display an undercurrent of jealousy over new girlfriends. And since when did Dolph Lundgren become an outlet for comic relief? Having so many great action heroes in the same film may be a knowing sign of shameless self indulgence, but the giddy novelty still pays off. Willis and Arnie swap their most famous quips from other films, but some of the original lines are pretty funny too; “Rest in pieces” being the best.

This post was written by
Editor and creator of Kung Fu Movie Guide and the host of the Kung Fu Movie Guide Podcast. I live behind a laptop in London, UK.

1 Comment

  • Croz

    Here is the only review this film needs:

    Body count: 489


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