Predator meets The Terminator meets Cyborg meets Jurassic Park, but made on the sort of money that wouldn’t even cover the catering budget on any of those films. This is made very early in the straight-to-video career of martial arts star Daniel Bernhardt, who may have only been starting out, but evidently deserved better than this. Despite being able to act, Bernhardt must have been instructed not to bother on this one – or at least told to play on his ability to channel a Van Damme-esque naivety. Even his obvious charms and slow-motion kicking can’t save this convoluted sci-fi disaster; the sort of film which was probably cooked up by a bunch of writers in between hits from a bong. Actually, it probably does make more sense if you watch it when you’re stoned. Bernhardt plays an enslaved human from the future who falls from the sky into 1990s America. He is being hunted by cyborgs and a hoard of – get this – dinosaurs, because, well, why not? He befriends a practicing nun called Sister Ann (Travis Brooks Stewart) and the two have long, existential, romantic conversations about life and love, occasionally breaking off to shoot some dinosaurs. They eventually team up with some friends, the cops, and some street thugs to take out the critters. The dinosaur effects are more Sesame Street than Spielberg, with miniatures courtesy of special effects whiz Anthony Doublin, who also makes his directorial debut. Doublin would eventually decide to leave the project. After about five minutes of watching it, you’ll probably want to do the same.