Despite its rather scant premise, Luc Besson‘s Transporter franchise charges on regardless; this time in a rebooted format without its original star, Jason Statham. The Stath’s balletic pugilism and winning presence was probably the most palatable thing about this unremarkable franchise, which essentially centres around a glorified taxi driver resembling James Bond’s thuggish two-dimensional cousin. Ed Skrien adopts an unwavering monotone to take the reigns as the dull ex-mercenary Frank Martin, the chauffeur of choice for Monaco’s most glamorous crooks. Frank and his smart-ass sales rep’ father become embroiled in a plot by a trio of prostitutes to rob and kill their Russian mafioso boss. The girls are a typically fetishistic Besson creation sporting blond Milla Jovovich wigs and lesbian tendencies who use their sexuality to hoodwink the men who have been exploiting them. Their leader, Anna (Loan Chabanol), loses focus as the group’s dominant femme fatale when she starts falling for Frank. Most of the car chases look like commercials, not to mention the more obvious incidents of product placement. None of the characters are remotely believable and exist purely on the surface level, making it hard to care about anything in the film. Not only has this franchise stalled, but it appears to be rolling backwards.

AKA: Transporter 4; Transporter 4 Refueled; The Transporter Legacy; The Transporter Refuelled.